When Our Self-Worth Stumbles

A major challenge faced by most of us is a preoccupation with what other people think of us. Sensitivity to the opinions of our friends and our enemies may sway from one moment to the next. Yet it remains a constant consideration. Politicians are not the only ones who have an ear to the ground or eyes on the polls. The rumblings of popular sentiment about how we are perceived are always on our radar. We crave approval and shrink from disapproval. Our mood for days is often determined by favorable or unfavorable commentary on our character, ability, or accomplishments. We form a mental picture of ourselves through the comments and opinions of those in our orbit. Our self-worth hangs upon what others think of us. The gravitation pull of even the most trifling uncomplimentary remark can result in an emotional collapse.

There may be something of value in paying attention to what others are saying about us. We live in community with one another. We are responsible for one another. Every decision, every behavior impacts the larger community in which we live and work. Most of us want to positively impact our own little portion of the world. We cannot ignore what others may say about us, nor should we. Unfavorable responses that come in our direction may provide insight for a course reset. Negative feedback can be a catalyst for rethinking our approach, our approach to friendships, work colleagues, and family. As we move forward from this day, a constant factor in life is that our yesterday does not have to be our tomorrow. We have the capacity to reflect upon favorable and unfavorable feedback and make a change.

A more fundamental question that we ought to concern ourselves with is what we think of ourselves. That question is answered by our thoughts, habits, and how we deploy our natural talents and gifts in the service of others. We form a mental picture of ourselves through our education, experiences, and fortitude to delve into challenges regardless of the perceived obstacles—real or imagined. Each one of us has limits of knowledge and ability. Yet, with desire and determination, new limits can be put in place of old ones—knowledge and understanding, and ability continually stretched. That is the power and value of attitude. But no one can surpass the limits of one’s current self-image. The mental picture of ourselves either releases energy for continued growth or imprisons us within our present ability.

For people of faith, the Bible helps those whose self-image is stuck for those moments when self-worth stumbles. John, the beloved disciple of our Lord, reminds us that “we are God’s children.” We are unable to fully comprehend God and God’s work in our lives and in the world. We are unable to know “what we will be.” (1 John 3:2b) But John reminds us that the God who created the heavens and the earth, the God who raised Jesus from the dead, claims us as God’s own children. Recalling our glorious nature as God’s own child is enough to strengthen a self-image that is weakened by the judgments of others. There is a deep tendency today to become like what we imagine ourselves to be. The one who claims us ought to matter. Since we are claimed by God, shall we not dare to think well of our value and to live by the highest thoughts?

Joy,