The Intersection of Loss and Hope

The following meditation was written by Dr. Michael B. Brown.

“Jesus said to her, `I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die’.” John 11:25 (Common English Bible)

If you live long enough, you will lose someone or something you love: a person, a home, a marriage or romance, a job, a pet. Even moving from one place to another involves the loss of a community of friends and a sense of belonging. So, what can we do when grief has us in its grips? Among other things, we can practice the fine (and healing) art of remembering.

(1) Things We Know From Those We Remember.

The New Testament book of Hebrews states: “We have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us.” (Hebrews 12:1 CEB) They are there—the ones who taught us our most valuable life lessons. They remain around us and within us as long as the lessons we learned from them are remembered and applied. Your mom’s devotion to church, your dad’s commitment to family, your professor’s insistence on academic (and personal) integrity, your friend’s loyalty, your neighbor’s positive outlook—all those influences made (and continue to make) you what you are. The donors may no longer be present, but the impact they left behind lives on. And, thus, in a very real sense they live on, too. “We have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us.”

(2) Things We Know For Those We Remember.

The Gospel of John tells of a promise Jesus made to Martha and Mary following the death of Lazarus (their brother). He said, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die.” (John 11:25) Only one chapter later, Christ made a promise to all his disciples. The NIV phrases it this way: “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” (John 12:32) Jesus assured believers that his resurrection would not be a solitary journey but, rather, that he would take his friends with him. That’s what we know for those we have loved and lost. Beyond this life is another life where death shall be no more.

A clergy friend told me of a woman in his church who lost her husband and her son-in-law in an automobile accident. Her world was torn out from beneath her, leaving her understandably devastated. In time, however, as my friend put it, “she came back to life.” Psychologists call that “new normal” (the time when you have processed pain sufficiently to move forward again). He said she told him that the key for her were some words written by a friend who sent a sympathy note. The words simply said: “What feels like the end for you is a new beginning of unbroken joy for them.” “My love for them was stronger than my sadness for myself,” she told my friend. “I learned to embrace their new lives of unbroken joy.”

“We have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us.” As long as we remember the love and lessons received from those who went before, they will live on in and through us. 

“Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die.” Those who we have loved and lost are not really lost at all. Instead, when Jesus made his journey home, he took them with him to new lives of unbroken joy.

Joy,