Moving On from Past Mistakes

“I do this one thing: I forget about the things behind me and reach out for the things ahead of me.” Philippians 3: 13b (Common English Bible)

How do you view the past? That is a good question for any of us. Or consider another question – Does the past have power over you? Are there regrets that interfere with your well-being and, consequently, the well-being of those who know you and love you? Perhaps thoughts of hurting someone or betraying someone continue to bobble-up into the present with the unfortunate result of self-recrimination. Have you taken all your mistakes and failures of the past and carefully preserved them in a time capsule that you open far too often. Each time the time capsule is opened you hand power to the past to beat yourself up and interfere with your ability to be your best self. Dwelling on the past offers one thing – self-condemnation.

Self-condemnation influences the way we think and how we live in the present. Self-condemnation gift-wraps and hands us a “loser-limp”—a term I learned from Zig Zigler which simply means that we limp through life as though we have an injury from the past. Those with a loser-limp conclude that the past is responsible for a miserable present and there is nothing that can be done. A limp is a limp, and we must learn to adapt. What many fail to grasp is that punishing yourself for the past does not change the past. And the only thing worse than a mistake or failure in the past is to live poorly into the future. An example would be a young person who once tried a dating website only to experience failure in finding a meaningful relationship. They now choose self-pity rather than, as the apostle Paul puts it, “reach out for the things ahead of me.”

Paul does not indulge in self-loathing, self-pity, or self-recrimination. Remember, it was Paul that held the coats of men while they stoned Stephen, an early Christian, to death simply because of his faith in Christ. Those who stoned Stephen asked Paul to hold their coats so they would have maximum range of arm movement in throwing the stones at Stephen. Paul is now a great evangelist for Jesus Christ. What Paul is teaching the church in Philippi is that he refuses to give power to his past. Paul refuses the “loser-limp” mentality because the work ahead of him is too important to be hindered with baggage from past failures, mistakes, and disappointments. The past cannot be changed. And punishing himself for the past only enables self-destructive behavior. Paul will permit nothing from interfering with him from being his best self for Jesus.

When one sets their eyes upon what is ahead of them—not what is behind them—hope flourishes. That is because we do not heal the past, says Marianne Williamson, by dwelling there. We heal the past by living fully in the present.¹ The past may hold lessons for the present and the future. Wisdom instructs that we visit the past only for what we can learn and then turn our attention immediately to the present. That is when our thinking shifts and our behavior changes. Thomas Edison was found one morning standing before the charred ruins of his laboratory in Princeton, New Jersey, after a fire. When condolences were offered, he responded that he was grateful for the fire. Edison continued that a good many of his past failures were destroyed. Now they would not be around to tease him as he continued his pursuits of ideas that would improve life for everyone. Or, as Paul teaches, “I forget about the things behind me and reach out for the things ahead of me.”

Joy,

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¹ Marianne Williamson, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. (New York, NY: William Morrow: An Imprint of Harper Collins Publishers, 2017) p. 129